Charming men know how to taste lives: English in other languages

Southeast Asia: Loves and Hates

Loves

  • Free tea with almost every meal
  • Children yelling hello and giving high-fives in the street
  • Sandals and shorts are appropriate everywhere
  • The conspicuous absence of police
  • The variety of fruit
  • $3 hostel beds in every city
  • $1 meals
  • "Same same but different"
  • Unashamed plagiarism of everything: movies, music, books, brands, storefronts, designer clothes, jewelry, etc. A Vietnamese friend put it perfectly when another girl copied my jack-o-lantern design: “Vietnam very good at copy.”
  • There’s always a motorbike around when you need one
  • People will sleep anywhere, at any time
  • Cows are community lawnmowers
  • No coins! (except Thailand)
  • Monks doing normal people stuff - using cell phones, riding bikes, surfing the Internet. Always funny.
  • No tipping!

Hates

  • Being hungry after every meal
  • Blatant dishonesty of the tourism industry - “yes yes, no problem my friend.”
  • Lonely Planet refusing to admit that some cities just plain suck. Beware of code words “charming” and “acquired taste,” which translate to “stay away.”
  • There’s always a motorbike around when you don’t need one
  • Hot girls are sometimes not¬†girls. Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “hot or not.”
  • Low regard for nature and preservation
  • Foreigners paying higher prices than locals
  • Service is terrible (see “no tipping”)

How to speak Vietnamese (lesson 2)

"Restroom"

How to speak Vietnamese

"Scaffolding"

Sew seductive

Sew seductive

Ball so hard maff*ckas wanna Banh Mi

$1.50 for two

Combat chic

The reversible, fashion-forward Ho Chi Minh sandal. Way #12,823 that Ho Chi Minh outsmarted a vaster, richer, more militarized army. (No footprints.) (Also kinda sexy-looking.) (And eco-friendly - made from truck tires.) (I want the baby one!)